Movie buff

I used to be this movie buff when I lived in Amsterdam but nowadays I am happy if I get to go to the cinema a few times a year. On Saturday I managed to go though and saw Slumdog Millionaire together with my brother. This film was certainly worth its money and we had a good evening. I need to take time to do these things more often although my preference has now switched from cinema visits to having dinners with friends instead as you can TALK then as well as have great good at the same time.

The book club list

Since our book club started in April 2006 we have read 19 books. Here is the list of all the books and the scores we gave them. 4-8 women have read each book and given a grade between 1 and 5. The books are in order of preference.

1) Khaled Hosseini –The Kiterunner (2007) 5 av 5
2) Haruki Murakami-Kafka on the Shore (2007) 4.75 av 5

3) Jonas Hassen Khemiri – Montecore (2006) 4.5 av 5
4) Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche -Half of a Yellow Sun (2007) 4.4 av 5

5) Maria Sveland – Bitterfittan (2007) 4 av 5

6) Linda Olsson – Let Me Sing You Gentle Songs (2007) 3.8 av 5

7) Susanna Alakoski –Svinalängorna (2006) 3.7 av 5
8) Anna Gavalda - Ensemble, c' est tout (2005) 3.6 av 5
9) Sara Stridsberg –The Dream Faculty (2006) 3.6 av 5

10) Joan Didion - A Year of Magical Thinking (2006) 3.5 av 5

11) Zbigniew Kuklarz- Help My Name Is Zbiniew (2005) 3 av 5

12) Sara Kadefors – Fågelbovägen 32 (2006) 3 av 5
13) Jenny Diski – Stranger on a Train (2005) 2.9 av 5
14) Pär Lagerkvist- The Dwarf (1944) 2.6 av 5
15) Inger Alvén - Mandelkärnan (2007) 2.5 av 5

16) Gioconda Belli – La Mujer Habitada (2007) 2.3 av 5
17) Sisela Lindblom – The Shameless (2007) 2.1 av 5
18) Monika Fagerholm - The American Girl (2004) 1.9 av 5
19) Bengt Ohlsson – Her Softest Voice (2008) 1.75 av 5

Child´s play

On Sunday I realised I am probably the only mother at my son's

daycare who doesn't take him to different activities every evening/ weekend so we went to football school on Sunday for the first time and he really liked it, and of course a few of his mates from the daycare were there. I spoke a little to the parents and they discussed if their children should have 2, 3 or 4 activities a week or if that was too much. How can a child of 4 have three or more activities a week? And how can a child at that age know if that is what he/she wants to do? It seems more as if it is the parents' wishes that are forming the decisions rather than the child's wish. One of the children from the daycare went to hockey, football and karate. Typical "boy" activities so at least if my son is going to have that many activities soon I hope at least that he wants to go to for instance dancing or something that is not so male /sports oriented...

Date number 1: the nerd

On Friday I went on my first date with a guy I met online: the single dad Anders, 41. The good thing about the date was that it was not awkward at all and we had many things to talk about and things in common. We talked a lot about travelling, films, relationships, music, politics etc. and had a great dinner at an Indian restaurant which he paid for. The "bad" thing about the date, is that he was not my type at all and that there is no chance that there will ever be anything more between us than friendship. He was a kind of computernerd type of guy, and sure, I can like a nerd, but it was not so much his looks as his whole persona and attitude. He kind of felt old-fashioned in the way he spoke about relationships and women, and how he had no clue about certain modern concepts I talked about. For sure I think I would prefer a more modern man with a younger approach. Having said that we had a good night and chatted away for about three hours so now I am happy I have finally started dating again. Maybe I have to kiss many frogs before I meet my prince but that will all be worth it hopefully!

Dance dance dance

As a result of my lovely meeting and dance session with the 24-year-old on Saturday at the party I decided to go to a dance class last night- and loved it! I have not been to a "proper" dance class since I was about 16 I believe, but to my great delight dancing is still in my heart and blood! I had no problems following the different styles -we tried ten different styles in one hour, for instance jazz, tango, street and folk- as I thought I would have, but my main problem was to have the energy and strength to keep up with the fast pace. And boy, am I exhausted today! I can barely walk because of stretch pains but it was all worth it as I have now found my way back to a great old passion of mine: DANCING!

Men born in the 80s

Does anybody ever read this blog? As I hardly ever get any comments from anyone I don't know if it is read by anyone. Anyhow, on Saturday we had another good book club meeting with the eight girls. We discussed the book Military Music by Vladimir Kaminer which I did not find to be such a good book but we had good discussions nevertheless. Kaminer's writing is good and he writes in an absurd, funny way about all his adventures in a Russia that is falling apart. After the book discussion we started talking about men and I had a long monologue about dating younger men and how it was OK if they were born in the 70s and I stated very firmly that if they were born in the 80s they were way to young for me. Of course I should not have said that as a few hours later I was at a birthday party of a 30-year-old friend and met a very nice guy who was both cute and a good dancer and guess how old he was... 24!!! That means he was born in 1985! I really had to laugh at myself as one should never say never about anything but honestly, if he was born in 1985, the year the film the Breakfast Club came out, I am almost old enough to be his mum! PS. I have a date on Friday and the guy is 41, that's a bit better isn't it?

Mad Monarchy

On Tuesday the newspapers and TV here were filled with the BIG news that the crown princess of Sweden Viktoria was engaged to Daniel Westling, her personal trainer of seven years. The news was apparently so big that it demanded a ten-page-spread in the major newspaper DN http://www.dn.se/ as well as several reports on TV. I seriously cannot believe it. Of course I am happy for them, in the name of love, but who needs a monarchy? I want to vote for the people who lead my country and not let them inherit their titles. And a royal wedding costs millions and people were even crying in the streets of Stockholm because they were so happy Viktoria was finally going to marry- why? I know my grandmother would be very upset if she read this as she loved royalty but I am going to join the organisation against monarchy here where my colleague is the president as I firmly believe that we need to abolish the monarchy!

What is Art?

In Sweden there is a discussion going on at the moment about art as provocation and some people seem to think that Konstfack - University College of Arts, Crafts and Design in Stockholm should not receive any subsidies from the government anymore as the art the students are creating is a waste of the tax payers money. Two incidents recently have triggered this reaction: 1) one student pretended she was mentally unstable and tried to jump off a major bridge in Stockholm and was rescued by hospital staff. She was hospitalised for a few days when it turned out she did it as a provocation to invoke a discussion about how the mentally ill are treated in Sweden. 2) another student spraypainted a metro train and filled it with graffiti and filmed the whole thing. The metro company were furious that one of their trains had been destroyed and have now sued the student. What is art I wonder. I do believe in freedom of expression but is this not maybe taking it too far. I do not think though that they should revoke the subsidies given to Konstfack (http://www.konstfack.se/) as these are only two out of thousands of students who are expressing themselves in this way...

I cannot be Swedish

Is it supposed to be this way? Cold at home (19C), cold at work (we have filed a complaint) and cold outside. February must be the most horrid month of all with those icy winds and snow one day and rain the next. I don't even want to get into the discussion about clothes; I am wearing four sweaters, two pairs of trousers, gloves, a hat and a long coat and I am still cold. I look and feel like a Michelin man. If I cannot move to a warm(er) country soon I will not make it as it feels as if I lose four months (November to February if not longer) of my life every year because it is so damn cold and dark that I just spend every evening indoors with a cup of tea in front of the TV. Sure, that can be cosy too, but four months is too long a period to have a non-life. I cannot be Swedish -I must have been an African in a previous life as I seriously cannot stand the cold.

A wake-up call

On Tuesday I woke up with pain in the left half of my face and a big red dry spot on the cheek under my eye. It was quite scary so I went straight to the doctor's in the morning and was told I had an infection in my face caused by stress! She asked me if I have been feeling stressed lately and at first I said no but if I think about it I very often feel worn-out and tired, and as if I never take the time to rest. My week is always filled with lots of work and also the weekends are filled with social activities so it is very rarely that I just relax and sit on the sofa and do nothing. I really need to do nothing more often, as this visit to the doctor's was a real wake-up call. I don't want to end up burnt-out and depressed at 38 so now it is time to listen to my body and take it easy more often. Also, my son's father has agreed to being with our son more at the weekend so that I can have some time to myself then, which seems to be a good deal. So, from now I will walk slower to the metro, take my time in the mornings, be lazy at the weekend and say no to invitations as my priorities at this point are: me, my health and I!

A change of taste

On Friday I had a drink with my fling and we spoke about taste in men / women. He said he always has the taste of the woman he was last with, meaning if he was with a short, blonde girl a year ago, that's his taste now. As he said this he looked very intensively at me and said "but of course one can change one's taste". I am not going to overanalyse anything here but it all sort of dawned on me: I am not his taste! And I know I am not as I know what his ex looks like as I have met her several times: she is very tall, very busty with black hair - and she talks with a baby voice. I am sorry but if that's his taste I think I will not try to seduce him anymore. She and I have very little in in common, both in the way we are and in the way we look. But it is interesting nevertheless - of course taste can change. I used to always go for the latino look (see Andy Garcia) but I think I have gone off that now - so we shall see what happens next.

Swedish "gympa"

In Sweden we have something called Friskis and Svettis - it is a very unpretentious and cheap sports movement. You pay some money and jump around in a bright gym hall together with other sweaty people. Sounds great doesn't it? It is. I just went there yesterday to get my weekly hour of exercise and it actually felt very good afterwards. After weeks and weeks of work behind the computer, lazy evenings in front of the TV/ with a book, it is certainly time for something else!

What's new

Ok, what's new?
1) My son has a new hairdo, he is so cute and looks much older (see picture)
2) Internet dating is going OK- I am writing to a 44-year-old man who seems very nice and intelligent, and funny.
3) I am still seeing my fling a lot, almost every week. Soon I will say something about my feelings for him, SOON, I promise!
4) I am starting my training routine this week; yoga, pilates and aerobics. Not bad! Suddently I have regained some of my energy so that is great.
5) Work is going well. No changes there.
6) Watched the film The Holiday again last, with Jude Law and Kate Winslet. It gives me hope!
7) I am reading The Art of Being Kind by Dr Stefan Einhorn who is a doctor at the cancer clinic here where I work. It is a very interesting read. Kindness can never be overrated.

Have a good week!

Fever!

My poor son had fever cramps last night. It has happened before when he was a baby and it is a truly nasty experience. The first time he had it was at the age of one and I honestly thought he was going to die and he had to go in an ambulance to the emergency room. Fever cramps are not dangerous but hard to deal with and are caused by a fever that runs too high too quickly. The only thing to do is to give suppositories as soon as possible and just wait for them to start working. From what I have read fever cramps are supposed to stop coming when a child turns four but apparently not... I am going to go home now to take care over from my son's father and hopefully my son is already feeling better. Fingers crossed.

Dating on the net

I have finally decided to start internet dating after having serious doubts about it for a while as there seem to be some dodgy characters out there. So anyway, I created a profile on a Swedish dating site and waited for people to find me. I seem to be rather popular actually ;-) and what is good is that everyone who leaves a comment on my site is between 34 and 45 so that's a good age range. Having said that, I am not sure how long I will try this way of meeting people. I do think it might work for some but I always had the idea that meeting in person, at work, at university or through a friend was the best way. Well, we'll see. I haven't given up on my fling yet though as I saw him twice last weekend but why shouldn't a single woman create more than one opportunity for herself ;-)?

Nothing new on the western front

Here, there is nothing new to report. I have had three days now without my son and have used this alone-time by working long hours and seeing my friends. Last night I had a wonderful evening with two of my best friends at the culture house "Kulturhuset" here in Stockholm: http://www.kulturhuset.stockholm.se/, one of my favourite places. We had nice conversations on such topics as what we would be doing in five years time, literature, love, fears, travelling. Tomorrow I am going to see my son again and we are invited to my fling and his son for a nice evening with crisps and films at their house. I find that I have a good balance now in my life: four days a week (usually Friday/Saturday-Tuesday) with my son and three days without him. Not in my wildest dreams could I have expected this shared custody to work out so well, but it did. Thank you for that!

New and fresh?

It has been quiet here as first I was ill, for about a week, and then when I was feeling better at the weekend, my son started throwing up and had high fever (39,2 C), so now we have had our share of illness for a while. Other than that we managed to have a nice dinner at a friend's house before the throwing up started so that was nice (and none of our friends got ill either).

This week is all about work, and it started with a bang. I have had many students visit me these past few days as many of them are applying to go abroad in spring and autumn. I am so excited for them. Maybe they will end up staying eight years instead of four months like I did in Amsterdam. That is what I find inspiring with my job: meeting all these Swedish and foreign students who are studying abroad or will study abroad. I wish I could go again! (In the photo: my sister in the white hat, her friend, my sister's boyfriend and my son on the island of Asperö at New Year, going for a nice walk).

Flu part trois

I think that even the cats are mad because it is so cold in the house, especially Margie (see picture). But on the other hand she always looks kind of angry so one never knows if it is the cold or something else.

Flu part deux

Well I thought my flu would have been gone today but I actually feel worse. It has moved down in my throat and lungs so every time I cough it feels like my lungs are going to burst or something. Luckily my boss agreed that I could stay at home and work today so that is what I am doing. The appartment is freezing though as it is so big and on the ground floor and does not have many carpets, i.e. only one (see picture) so I am sitting here with three sweaters and double trousers... brrr

Down and out. Welcome 2009!

A new year has started and I am down and out with some weird cold / flu, but that is all fine as I really need to take it easy and stay at home. These past few weeks have been wonderful with a lot of social interaction but I need to take it easier now (read: in January) in order to recharge my batteries and save some money. Outside it is about -10 C and full of snow so the landscape is looking beautiful. Welcome to 2009!