Malinologues

Movie buff

2009-03-30T03:42:00.001-07:00

I used to be this movie buff when I lived in Amsterdam but nowadays I am happy if I get to go to the cinema a few times a year. On Saturday I managed to go though and saw Slumdog Millionaire together with my brother. This film was certainly worth its money and we had a good evening. I need to take time to do these things more often although my preference has now switched from cinema visits to having dinners with friends instead as you can TALK then as well as have great good at the same time.

The book club list

2009-03-24T06:03:00.000-07:00

Since our book club started in April 2006 we have read 19 books. Here is the list of all the books and the scores we gave them. 4-8 women have read each book and given a grade between 1 and 5. The books are in order of preference.

1) Khaled Hosseini –The Kiterunner (2007) 5 av 5
2) Haruki Murakami-Kafka on the Shore (2007) 4.75 av 5

3) Jonas Hassen Khemiri – Montecore (2006) 4.5 av 5
4) Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche -Half of a Yellow Sun (2007) 4.4 av 5

5) Maria Sveland – Bitterfittan (2007) 4 av 5

6) Linda Olsson – Let Me Sing You Gentle Songs (2007) 3.8 av 5

7) Susanna Alakoski –Svinalängorna (2006) 3.7 av 5
8) Anna Gavalda - Ensemble, c' est tout (2005) 3.6 av 5
9) Sara Stridsberg –The Dream Faculty (2006) 3.6 av 5

10) Joan Didion - A Year of Magical Thinking (2006) 3.5 av 5

11) Zbigniew Kuklarz- Help My Name Is Zbiniew (2005) 3 av 5

12) Sara Kadefors – Fågelbovägen 32 (2006) 3 av 5
13) Jenny Diski – Stranger on a Train (2005) 2.9 av 5
14) Pär Lagerkvist- The Dwarf (1944) 2.6 av 5
15) Inger Alvén - Mandelkärnan (2007) 2.5 av 5

16) Gioconda Belli – La Mujer Habitada (2007) 2.3 av 5
17) Sisela Lindblom – The Shameless (2007) 2.1 av 5
18) Monika Fagerholm - The American Girl (2004) 1.9 av 5
19) Bengt Ohlsson – Her Softest Voice (2008) 1.75 av 5

Child´s play

2009-03-23T06:06:00.000-07:00

On Sunday I realised I am probably the only mother at my son's

daycare who doesn't take him to different activities every evening/ weekend so we went to football school on Sunday for the first time and he really liked it, and of course a few of his mates from the daycare were there. I spoke a little to the parents and they discussed if their children should have 2, 3 or 4 activities a week or if that was too much. How can a child of 4 have three or more activities a week? And how can a child at that age know if that is what he/she wants to do? It seems more as if it is the parents' wishes that are forming the decisions rather than the child's wish. One of the children from the daycare went to hockey, football and karate. Typical "boy" activities so at least if my son is going to have that many activities soon I hope at least that he wants to go to for instance dancing or something that is not so male /sports oriented...

Date number 1: the nerd

2009-03-15T00:20:00.000-07:00

On Friday I went on my first date with a guy I met online: the single dad Anders, 41. The good thing about the date was that it was not awkward at all and we had many things to talk about and things in common. We talked a lot about travelling, films, relationships, music, politics etc. and had a great dinner at an Indian restaurant which he paid for. The "bad" thing about the date, is that he was not my type at all and that there is no chance that there will ever be anything more between us than friendship. He was a kind of computernerd type of guy, and sure, I can like a nerd, but it was not so much his looks as his whole persona and attitude. He kind of felt old-fashioned in the way he spoke about relationships and women, and how he had no clue about certain modern concepts I talked about. For sure I think I would prefer a more modern man with a younger approach. Having said that we had a good night and chatted away for about three hours so now I am happy I have finally started dating again. Maybe I have to kiss many frogs before I meet my prince but that will all be worth it hopefully!

Dance dance dance

2009-03-11T07:33:00.000-07:00

As a result of my lovely meeting and dance session with the 24-year-old on Saturday at the party I decided to go to a dance class last night- and loved it! I have not been to a "proper" dance class since I was about 16 I believe, but to my great delight dancing is still in my heart and blood! I had no problems following the different styles -we tried ten different styles in one hour, for instance jazz, tango, street and folk- as I thought I would have, but my main problem was to have the energy and strength to keep up with the fast pace. And boy, am I exhausted today! I can barely walk because of stretch pains but it was all worth it as I have now found my way back to a great old passion of mine: DANCING!

Men born in the 80s

2009-03-10T02:34:00.000-07:00

Does anybody ever read this blog? As I hardly ever get any comments from anyone I don't know if it is read by anyone. Anyhow, on Saturday we had another good book club meeting with the eight girls. We discussed the book Military Music by Vladimir Kaminer which I did not find to be such a good book but we had good discussions nevertheless. Kaminer's writing is good and he writes in an absurd, funny way about all his adventures in a Russia that is falling apart. After the book discussion we started talking about men and I had a long monologue about dating younger men and how it was OK if they were born in the 70s and I stated very firmly that if they were born in the 80s they were way to young for me. Of course I should not have said that as a few hours later I was at a birthday party of a 30-year-old friend and met a very nice guy who was both cute and a good dancer and guess how old he was... 24!!! That means he was born in 1985! I really had to laugh at myself as one should never say never about anything but honestly, if he was born in 1985, the year the film the Breakfast Club came out, I am almost old enough to be his mum! PS. I have a date on Friday and the guy is 41, that's a bit better isn't it?

Mad Monarchy

2009-02-26T23:23:00.000-08:00

On Tuesday the newspapers and TV here were filled with the BIG news that the crown princess of Sweden Viktoria was engaged to Daniel Westling, her personal trainer of seven years. The news was apparently so big that it demanded a ten-page-spread in the major newspaper DN http://www.dn.se/ as well as several reports on TV. I seriously cannot believe it. Of course I am happy for them, in the name of love, but who needs a monarchy? I want to vote for the people who lead my country and not let them inherit their titles. And a royal wedding costs millions and people were even crying in the streets of Stockholm because they were so happy Viktoria was finally going to marry- why? I know my grandmother would be very upset if she read this as she loved royalty but I am going to join the organisation against monarchy here where my colleague is the president as I firmly believe that we need to abolish the monarchy!

What is Art?

2009-02-24T04:38:00.001-08:00

In Sweden there is a discussion going on at the moment about art as provocation and some people seem to think that Konstfack - University College of Arts, Crafts and Design in Stockholm should not receive any subsidies from the government anymore as the art the students are creating is a waste of the tax payers money. Two incidents recently have triggered this reaction: 1) one student pretended she was mentally unstable and tried to jump off a major bridge in Stockholm and was rescued by hospital staff. She was hospitalised for a few days when it turned out she did it as a provocation to invoke a discussion about how the mentally ill are treated in Sweden. 2) another student spraypainted a metro train and filled it with graffiti and filmed the whole thing. The metro company were furious that one of their trains had been destroyed and have now sued the student. What is art I wonder. I do believe in freedom of expression but is this not maybe taking it too far. I do not think though that they should revoke the subsidies given to Konstfack (http://www.konstfack.se/) as these are only two out of thousands of students who are expressing themselves in this way...

I cannot be Swedish

2009-02-19T09:46:00.001-08:00

Is it supposed to be this way? Cold at home (19C), cold at work (we have filed a complaint) and cold outside. February must be the most horrid month of all with those icy winds and snow one day and rain the next. I don't even want to get into the discussion about clothes; I am wearing four sweaters, two pairs of trousers, gloves, a hat and a long coat and I am still cold. I look and feel like a Michelin man. If I cannot move to a warm(er) country soon I will not make it as it feels as if I lose four months (November to February if not longer) of my life every year because it is so damn cold and dark that I just spend every evening indoors with a cup of tea in front of the TV. Sure, that can be cosy too, but four months is too long a period to have a non-life. I cannot be Swedish -I must have been an African in a previous life as I seriously cannot stand the cold.

A wake-up call

2009-02-13T04:18:00.000-08:00

On Tuesday I woke up with pain in the left half of my face and a big red dry spot on the cheek under my eye. It was quite scary so I went straight to the doctor's in the morning and was told I had an infection in my face caused by stress! She asked me if I have been feeling stressed lately and at first I said no but if I think about it I very often feel worn-out and tired, and as if I never take the time to rest. My week is always filled with lots of work and also the weekends are filled with social activities so it is very rarely that I just relax and sit on the sofa and do nothing. I really need to do nothing more often, as this visit to the doctor's was a real wake-up call. I don't want to end up burnt-out and depressed at 38 so now it is time to listen to my body and take it easy more often. Also, my son's father has agreed to being with our son more at the weekend so that I can have some time to myself then, which seems to be a good deal. So, from now I will walk slower to the metro, take my time in the mornings, be lazy at the weekend and say no to invitations as my priorities at this point are: me, my health and I!

A change of taste

2009-02-10T23:39:00.000-08:00

On Friday I had a drink with my fling and we spoke about taste in men / women. He said he always has the taste of the woman he was last with, meaning if he was with a short, blonde girl a year ago, that's his taste now. As he said this he looked very intensively at me and said "but of course one can change one's taste". I am not going to overanalyse anything here but it all sort of dawned on me: I am not his taste! And I know I am not as I know what his ex looks like as I have met her several times: she is very tall, very busty with black hair - and she talks with a baby voice. I am sorry but if that's his taste I think I will not try to seduce him anymore. She and I have very little in in common, both in the way we are and in the way we look. But it is interesting nevertheless - of course taste can change. I used to always go for the latino look (see Andy Garcia) but I think I have gone off that now - so we shall see what happens next.

Swedish "gympa"

2009-02-05T02:08:00.001-08:00

In Sweden we have something called Friskis and Svettis - it is a very unpretentious and cheap sports movement. You pay some money and jump around in a bright gym hall together with other sweaty people. Sounds great doesn't it? It is. I just went there yesterday to get my weekly hour of exercise and it actually felt very good afterwards. After weeks and weeks of work behind the computer, lazy evenings in front of the TV/ with a book, it is certainly time for something else!

What's new

2009-02-02T01:31:00.000-08:00

Ok, what's new?
1) My son has a new hairdo, he is so cute and looks much older (see picture)
2) Internet dating is going OK- I am writing to a 44-year-old man who seems very nice and intelligent, and funny.
3) I am still seeing my fling a lot, almost every week. Soon I will say something about my feelings for him, SOON, I promise!
4) I am starting my training routine this week; yoga, pilates and aerobics. Not bad! Suddently I have regained some of my energy so that is great.
5) Work is going well. No changes there.
6) Watched the film The Holiday again last, with Jude Law and Kate Winslet. It gives me hope!
7) I am reading The Art of Being Kind by Dr Stefan Einhorn who is a doctor at the cancer clinic here where I work. It is a very interesting read. Kindness can never be overrated.

Have a good week!

Fever!

2009-01-23T05:31:00.001-08:00

My poor son had fever cramps last night. It has happened before when he was a baby and it is a truly nasty experience. The first time he had it was at the age of one and I honestly thought he was going to die and he had to go in an ambulance to the emergency room. Fever cramps are not dangerous but hard to deal with and are caused by a fever that runs too high too quickly. The only thing to do is to give suppositories as soon as possible and just wait for them to start working. From what I have read fever cramps are supposed to stop coming when a child turns four but apparently not... I am going to go home now to take care over from my son's father and hopefully my son is already feeling better. Fingers crossed.

Dating on the net

2009-01-22T06:25:00.000-08:00

I have finally decided to start internet dating after having serious doubts about it for a while as there seem to be some dodgy characters out there. So anyway, I created a profile on a Swedish dating site and waited for people to find me. I seem to be rather popular actually ;-) and what is good is that everyone who leaves a comment on my site is between 34 and 45 so that's a good age range. Having said that, I am not sure how long I will try this way of meeting people. I do think it might work for some but I always had the idea that meeting in person, at work, at university or through a friend was the best way. Well, we'll see. I haven't given up on my fling yet though as I saw him twice last weekend but why shouldn't a single woman create more than one opportunity for herself ;-)?

Nothing new on the western front

2009-01-15T06:08:00.000-08:00

Here, there is nothing new to report. I have had three days now without my son and have used this alone-time by working long hours and seeing my friends. Last night I had a wonderful evening with two of my best friends at the culture house "Kulturhuset" here in Stockholm: http://www.kulturhuset.stockholm.se/, one of my favourite places. We had nice conversations on such topics as what we would be doing in five years time, literature, love, fears, travelling. Tomorrow I am going to see my son again and we are invited to my fling and his son for a nice evening with crisps and films at their house. I find that I have a good balance now in my life: four days a week (usually Friday/Saturday-Tuesday) with my son and three days without him. Not in my wildest dreams could I have expected this shared custody to work out so well, but it did. Thank you for that!

New and fresh?

2009-01-13T07:30:00.000-08:00

It has been quiet here as first I was ill, for about a week, and then when I was feeling better at the weekend, my son started throwing up and had high fever (39,2 C), so now we have had our share of illness for a while. Other than that we managed to have a nice dinner at a friend's house before the throwing up started so that was nice (and none of our friends got ill either).

This week is all about work, and it started with a bang. I have had many students visit me these past few days as many of them are applying to go abroad in spring and autumn. I am so excited for them. Maybe they will end up staying eight years instead of four months like I did in Amsterdam. That is what I find inspiring with my job: meeting all these Swedish and foreign students who are studying abroad or will study abroad. I wish I could go again! (In the photo: my sister in the white hat, her friend, my sister's boyfriend and my son on the island of Asperö at New Year, going for a nice walk).

Flu part trois

2009-01-07T02:13:00.001-08:00

I think that even the cats are mad because it is so cold in the house, especially Margie (see picture). But on the other hand she always looks kind of angry so one never knows if it is the cold or something else.

Flu part deux

2009-01-07T02:01:00.000-08:00

Well I thought my flu would have been gone today but I actually feel worse. It has moved down in my throat and lungs so every time I cough it feels like my lungs are going to burst or something. Luckily my boss agreed that I could stay at home and work today so that is what I am doing. The appartment is freezing though as it is so big and on the ground floor and does not have many carpets, i.e. only one (see picture) so I am sitting here with three sweaters and double trousers... brrr

Down and out. Welcome 2009!

2009-01-06T02:44:00.001-08:00

A new year has started and I am down and out with some weird cold / flu, but that is all fine as I really need to take it easy and stay at home. These past few weeks have been wonderful with a lot of social interaction but I need to take it easier now (read: in January) in order to recharge my batteries and save some money. Outside it is about -10 C and full of snow so the landscape is looking beautiful. Welcome to 2009!

Skiing mon amour

2008-12-30T04:39:00.001-08:00

Back at work today with a little bit of a hangover as I had a nice beer evening in Bishop's Arms - a British pub right in the centre of Stockholm yesterday. My beer friend for the evening was no other than my eternal fling who I have chosen to ignore lately as he is so bad at getting in touch - but of course he called me and I couldn't say no. We had a nice evening talking about travelling, literature, tattooes, parents, parenthood, games, moustaches and skiing. It turns out - to my great joy- that he also likes skiing and happens to have some cousins living in the north of Sweden close to some very nice slopes so we started planning a little weekend trip there together in February. Should be nice (if it happens) and maybe then and outside of skiing hours I have to make him drink excessive amounts of alcohol and then seduce him as this non-happening potential love story has definitely been going on for too long.

Light therapy, UNO and great friends

2008-12-28T06:05:00.000-08:00

We are back from a wonderful week in Bümplitz, Switzerland and Meina, Italy. It was a nice break from all routines and the grey, rainy weather Stockholm had to offer just before Christmas. Now we/I fell strengthened and ready to take on a new, exciting year. My son tried to ski for the first time in Lenk and loved it - we pretended that he was a skiing dinosaur of course. The sun was strong and warm in Switzerland and the snow perfect. I also greatly enjoyed it - although my legs and back were killing me - talk about being untrained- so my promise to myself for next year will have to be to be more active in the slopes or elsewhere in order to stay more fit and energized. It was of course also great to see our old friends again. We had lots of wine, played the card game UNO like maniacs (my brother always a winner, I always the loser...) and just relaxed and talked. We also made a short visit to my Italian friend's cottage by Lake Maggiore. What a romantic place with a fantastic view of the lake. I am very glad we took the time to go although my son threw up in the car and we almost got snowed in overnight. I also saw the classic film Sunset Boulevard (1950) for the first time in my life too. Now, back in la bella Svezia and I am taking it very easy. Hanging out with the cats Svante and Margie on the sofa, drinking coffee, having baths, while my son is with his father. It's great to be alone too sometimes!

Switzerland here we come

2008-12-19T00:19:00.000-08:00

In Switzerland there is a lot of snow at the moment so we cannot wait to go there! My son keeps saying we are going to Spain but that is probably because that is the only holiday he remembers he had (in the summer). It will be wonderful to catch up with old friends and to be in the great outdoors. It feels as if I have spent the entire autumn in an office without any daylight or physical activity so I am really looking forward to a change of scenery. This week has gone by very fast. On Tuesday was the funeral of my uncle Egon which was a beautiful and sad event. Yesterday my aunt came to see us for a short visit. I think that that is what Christmas is all about: spending quality time with friends and family. For New Year's Eve we're going to see my sister who lives in a house on an island -Asperö - outside Gothenburg - that will be lovely too. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE - TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER!

A new life

2008-12-15T05:06:00.000-08:00

About ten days ago a new life came into the world: little Gaia! She's Kristel and Yoel's second daughter, born in Barcelona. Welcome to Gaia!

The great tiredness

2008-12-11T02:14:00.000-08:00

I have been struck by the great tiredness. I think it happened about a week ago and this week I have cancelled all my appointments as I am just too tired and boring to be able to meet up with friends. I did go to a christmas dinner with work on Tuesday but I hardly opened my mouth and nearly fell asleep at the table so by half past eight it was time to go home and sleep. Usually I am a little worn-out this time a year but this year it is almost a joke as I cannot open my eyes when the alarm clock rings. I seriously ONLY want to be in the house and eat, watch TV, read books, kiss Max and sleep. I think the fact that I have had three new jobs in the past four years has started to catch up on me. I just want to have a holiday now. But apparently I am not the only one in this state of mind, if that's any comfort. The metro is full of worn-out people with empty eyes and outside it's raining and dark so no wonder everyone is miserable. Next year I'll definitely buy a trip to a warm country this time of year...

The sky can wait

2008-12-05T00:00:00.001-08:00

On Swedish television there is a documentary series at the moment called The Sky can wait which portrays five people who have been given a diagnosis with a deadly outcome. For instance, one man of 42 has MND -motor neuron disease- and one 31 year old woman has breast cancer that has spread. This documentary is very positive I have to say. First I was a little afraid to watch the programme as this is difficult to take in but it is very important to let oneself think of death sometime, one's own and others. Yesterday the programme had the title "everything is as usual, nothing is as usual". Many of the people in the programme have children and one of the women has been ill since her son was six months. How do you handle a thing like that? She said on the programme that she often felt tired and sad but that she did not want to show it and that she did not know if she was going to watch her son grow up... how hard! I have to say that Swedish television is doing a good job showing what is is like to be given a diagnosis and yet continue living with great hope and courage and defy the state of ill health. (photo: www.charlotteaberg.com)

Karachi wine

2008-12-04T02:40:00.000-08:00

During a dinner with several dentists from Pakistan last night I learnt that in Karachi you bring wine in a plastic bag to the restaurant. The wine is then poured into a teapot and is then not illegal to drink as it has then been turned into tea and is no longer considered wine. I know very little of Pakistan and was surprised how freespoken my table partners were about their lives there. My table partners told me that "everyone" (read: the rich and well-educated) live in appartment complexes with swimming-halls, sport facilities and food stores. You never leave these "clubs" as they are called without taking a car and a security guard with you. You never walk around in the centre so to speak as it is not safe, especially not if you are a foreigner and/or a woman. A few years back a couple of exchange students dared to leave the club to go climbing in the mountains and they had Malaria so that was not recommended as my new acquaintances pointed out. The evening was rather exciting. We had fantastic food and the conversation and wine flowed for four hours. These type of international encounters are beautiful and memorable. After dinner I had a phone call from my diabolical ex-housemate who is now back in town but that is another story!

On being bitter

2008-12-02T05:22:00.001-08:00

Today, or rather all week I have been feeling rather bitter. It is not a nice feeling and very unlike me I must add. I have just been feeling this way because of recent events and it's not a big deal and I am sure it will pass within a day or two, but sometimes we must be allowed to feel bitter I guess. On Saturday I threw an Advent party for my friends and on the day itself about fifteen friends /acquaintances sent text messages that they were unable to make it. Also not to mention the 5-10 people who did not get in touch at all to confirm if they were coming or not. OK I understand on a cold November evening that many people have colds and depressions and/or do not feel like leaving the house but almost 20 people is a bit much... this thing though is not the only reason for my sudden bitterness but let's say I have run out of energy to organise social events so don't count on me from now on.

Friday, soon a new year

2008-11-28T08:32:00.000-08:00

Finally Friday, and soon the end of the month AGAIN. I cannot believe it is December and that 2008 soon is over. Thank god, I would have to say because this year has been very tough for many of my friends and family; deaths, separations and divorces. A few newborns and a few happy couples but not enough to compensate for all the negativeness. Tomorrow I am having a "glögg" party with some friends to celebrate first Advent which is on Sunday so that should be nice. Next year has got to be better.

Hanging on the telephone

2008-11-25T02:21:00.000-08:00

A few days ago I had a preliminary "date" with the man I fancy and on that day I did not hear a single word from him- no sms, no email, no phone call. As this has happened before with him I was not surprised, but disappointed. How hard is it in this day and age if you change your plans to just send an sms? Apparently very difficult... I spoke to him this morning and he told me he had been staying overnight with friends and had no credit on his phone, but when you agree to get in touch to arrange to meet, why don't you? I have many male friends in my close circle and many of them seem to have a big problem with getting in touch in a timely manner. Phone calls are never made, sms messages are left unanswered and appointments are cancelled without notification. It saddens me as I am a great communicator and find my friends very important - so TO ME it means something when we agree to get in touch or to meet. Apparently it does not mean as much to many of the people I know - a shame. In this particular case I was a little more disappointed than usual as I want us to be more than just friends (which he doesn't know about) but I think I will just have to learn that promises don't mean much and "let's get in touch" should not be taken so seriously, not with some at least.

The Dora effect

2008-11-25T02:08:00.000-08:00

My son who is now four is getting Spanish lessons in the nursery once a week and his father is trying to speak Spanish with him on a regular basis but my son has shown no interest whatsoever in learning the language. He only wants to speak Swedish and has even become angry when I or anyone else have asked him what certain words are in Spanish or in English. Until now I should say as now he has discovered Dora the Explorer, which are computer games and films where a little dark-haired girl speaks both Spanish and English and asks the player/viewer to repeat her words and expressions. To my great joy this Dora character has made my son really interested in languages all of a sudden and yesterday he asked me what different words in Swedish were called in Spanish and English! I am so glad that he can take this with him, that is learning languages at such an early age - he will have so much for free later on. Talk about Dora effect!

Uncle Edon

2008-11-23T23:43:00.000-08:00

After having days and weeks of feeling great and meeting with wonderful close friends and having a sense that my life is finally on the right track again, I received a phone call from my cousin yesterday who told me her father, my uncle had died of cardiac arrest. It was as if time stopped. It is just so hard when someone you care about is pulled away like that and you know you will not see them again. I thought about my cousins and my aunt yesterday, of the difficult times they are going to have to go through now -exactly what I went through with my mum three years ago. Even my son was saddened by the news as he was very close with my uncle and loved having chats with him whenever they met. He asked me, "is uncle Edon (as he called him. His real name was Egon but my son cannot say "g" properly) with my grandmother now? - I don't want that!" Well, I don't want that either...

Oh my god I am soooo old...

2008-11-21T00:19:00.001-08:00

I was sitting in the train on my way from work the other day and next to me were three blond girls with lots of make-up, aged 20. One of them said "oh my god I am turning 21 next week, I cannot believe how old I am! It's terrible!" The other girls agreed. Then one of them said "now that we are turning 21 we cannot get filthy drunk anymore like we used to - we're just going to be too old for that kind of behaviour" - the others nodded. I was just sitting there laughing quitely to myself when I thought - but if they are old when they are 21, what am I at 38- ancient? And I am not allowed to get drunk either at my age...oops!

Ode to family

2008-11-19T10:29:00.001-08:00

Yesterday my brother came to my house for dinner and it was lovely to see him. He and my son now have great contact so that is wonderful to see, and important. I thought of how my family has actually grown in the last few years. First, it decreased drastically since my mum who was the heart of the family disappeared, and then even more as I divorced my husband, but now my family has grown again as I have closer contact with siblings, friends, cousins, aunts and uncles and friends of my mum. It is lovely - and I can see how my son loves to be surrounded by warm, caring people who do not fit the classical picture of a typical family but by being so close and present in our lives are so important to us. Hurrah for family!

A funny mama

2008-11-18T00:11:00.000-08:00

On Saturday my godson (4,5 years old) spent the whole day with me and my son (4) and we had a great time. We played charades, memory and computer games (Dora the Explorer) and went to the playground. At around 5.30 pm we sat down to have dinner and my godson said "oh it's so quiet and cosy here, and even the cats are eating - what a lovely dinner!" and my son nodded in agreement. Then my godson spotted the painting on the wall- a pink painting with a woman with big breasts."Oh look at the funny mama on the wall- why does she look so strange?" Well, I told him she has quite big breasts. "Oh why does she have such big breasts?" Well, some women do was my vague answer. And both boys looked at each other and burst into laughter; "big breasts, how funny!" (Note: The painting in this item is not the painting in question but by my friend Sebastian Chedal.)

Sweet Sofa

2008-11-15T01:10:00.000-08:00

Last night I went out with my ex-colleagues from my job at the University. We had a great night that started at Roxy http://www.roxysofo.se/ which is a bar/ restaurant in the bohemian, southern part of Stockholm Södermalm. After a few drinks at Roxy we headed off to one of the guy's bachelor pads close by, and ended the evening there. It was a nice night. Full of nostalgic 90's music, red wine and great conversation. And the best thing of all- next to me in the white sofa of the bachelor pad was the man I fancy! We had such a blast. All I can remember is that we were talking and laughing all night (until 3 am). That's a good sign isn't it? ;-) I did have some competition in the shape of a 27-year-old black-haired girl who was desperately trying to speak to "my man" but he swiftly moved away from her a few times until she got the hint (hopefully). Oh how wonderful to spend the night in the sweet sofa with a nice man... guess who woke up with a smile!

O for Obama

2008-11-13T06:08:00.000-08:00

On the morning after the presidential elections in the States I had to cry a little - out of happiness- because America had voted for a black man for president. If I did not have to go to work I would have spent the entire day in front of the TV watching his speech and people's reactions in the streets. Thank you for getting rid of George W Bush and for giving us hope for CHANGE with a president who can at least express himself well in comparison to his predecessor.

A peek into the future

2008-11-13T05:04:00.000-08:00

Two weeks ago I went to a medium called Anita. I had not seen her for 2,5 years and last time I was there I spent one hour crying as I was in a bad patch after the death of my mother and in the midst of a bad relationship. Everything she said that time has been correct so I decided to go and see her again after 2,5 years and had a completely different experience from the last time I was there. This is a woman who does not know anything about me, only my first name, and yet managed to be so right in the things she could "see" in the cards laying before us.

This time she said she could see a lot of love around me, from friends and family and from men. She said I had a determined young son (true!), that I loved my new job (true!) and my flat (true!) but that I had thought of moving. I told her my mortgage was too high and that's why I have considered moving and she said she could not see that that would happen.

She saw three men (in the romantic sense) in my life. One man wanted to be a part of my life much more than he was now but I had closed that door and the second one wanted to get back in my life and regretted we were no longer together and the third one liked me very much and she could see that the feeling was mutual and that there was a lot of laughter and love surrounding our encounters and that we would start a relationship in the winter. All I had to do was make a move, as she put it.

The medium also said she could see my father with a "dark" woman next to him. She continued by saying that I did not like this dark woman and that the woman was very sad that we did not have a good relationship. Anita also saw that the relationship between my brother and my father was not the best and that they had to improve our relationship. She said it was essential I spoke to my father about everything that had happened after my mum died and explained to his partner that it was not her fault things had turned out the way they had but that my dad, my brother and I had to solve whatever was unresolved in our relationship.

It was a good meeting we had, and now I have many things to thing about and primarily two tasks: seduce the man I fancy and talk to my father and his partner. Neither of which are easy so wish me good luck!

And then it went quiet...

2008-11-13T04:55:00.000-08:00

A few days ago I took my 4-year-old son to the annual check-up at the hospital and as soon as we entered the doors of the hospital he decided there was no point in talking at all. The visit lasted about 45 minutes but felt like two hours. He hardly answered when the nurse asked him to tell her what he could see in the pictures she held in front of him, and when he had to wear headphones for the hearing test he simply refused. I stated "normally he talks a lot", but she looked very doutbful and told me she thought it was a good idea to send him to a speech therapist! This is a boy who normally talks a lot to the point where you think it's too much and who is sociable beyond anything I have seen before but apparently this doesn't apply to every day because this was the day when it all went very quiet...

Date with myself

2008-11-13T04:21:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had a date with myself. I can recommend it. Firstly, I went to yoga class. It was wonderful and long overdue. Then at home I made a lovely dinner and then some popcorns, a cup of rooibostea and watched a film I got from the library: The Illusionist with one of my favourite actors Edward Norton. It was a great evening. A cup of tea and a lazy evening on the couch with a cat on my lap was all I needed to recharge!

It is never how we want it (in love)

2008-11-12T07:36:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago I went with my friends S and E (high school friend who found me via Facebook last year)to the bar Söders Hjärta http://www.sodershjarta.se/ to have some wine and chat. We had a very nice evening and S and I were talking (before E turned up) about how hard it is to find a good man and that it happens so often that when one likes someone that person rarely likes one back or vice versa. And... I got proof of this before the evening had ended because when S had left, E thought it was a good idea to head home already at 9 pm and I thought to myself "great" because usually when we meet up the evening ends at 2 am in a drunken state with a working-day coming up so I was happy to leave on time. So we started leaving the bar when E firmly took my hand and started walking in the direction of the buses to my house and I thought "hey what's happening here?" so I asked him in a surprised voice; "you don't live anywhere close to my house so where are you going?" How are you going to get home?" And he looked very defeated all of a sudden and said he could always take another bus. And I left him there and hurried to get my bus and afterwards I thought, of course, he wanted to come with me home, and unfortunately I don't like him IN THAT WAY, but I like someone else - as usual.

My diabolical flatmate

2008-11-12T07:17:00.000-08:00

For nine months I had a flatmate from France staying at my house and he caused many heated discussions among my friends and raised many thoughts with me. Except that he had no social competence whatsoever and did not eat nor sleep, he played Baroque music all night long as well as voted for Front National and tried to seduce my sister as well as poision my cats. As you may well understand he is no longer my flatmate but yesterday I was suddenly reminded of his existence when there was an envelope in my mailbox with his name on it. As I am so immoral I quickly opened the envelope and found a magazine with the title Diabolica or something similar and it seemed to be addressed to all Satan worshippers of Sweden! Well, I never stop being surprised of this 25-year-old who had his studies financied by a 50-year-old lesbian friend of the family and who sent a letter to all his relatives to announce that he was very unhappy with his childhood... and in spite of all the above I cannot help thinking that my life was so much more exciting when I had such a strange flatmate and that it is a lot more undramatic with a nice girl from Norrköping for a flatmate.